Self Wellness

Let’s buy everything you want

The title is not a click-bait. When you do have the money, why don’t you buy everything you want?

As amazing as it does sound, buying every single thing you want would make you feel happy. In fact, you could be the happiest person in the world. Well, period. Of course it would not be a long term of happiness, because once you get the new thing, yourself adapt to the ‘newy’ of that thing, and then after you adapted, the new thing will no longer be new anymore. So then you start to find another new thing to buy, that would make you feel happy, and then you could be the happiest person again, of course temporarily, and then you get bored of it, and find a new one—

It sounds like a cycle, right? And you know what, after endless amount of money that you wasted already, you will somehow realize that your happiness would not be found in those external factors such as a new thing, or several new things, or maybe dozens and hundreds and thousands new things.

This post will focus on two aspects. One, is financial. Two, is happiness, the internal happiness —the joy, that’s how people often say it.

So, let’s discuss the first aspect which sounds more realistic. Whether you have lots of money or not, the topic will be the same, money can buy everything even happiness, but not joy. What is the exact differences on happiness and joy? Well, this is only my theory, but I do believe in this since I am not the only one who think this way (I did a lot of research before writing this up regarding differences on happiness and joy). Happiness is a momentary feeling of being happy, excited, glad, whatever you call it. Joy is a long term feeling of happiness. I do think that you can find happiness when you do something, let’s say when you buy new thing that you dreamed all these years, or when you do something kind to a stranger (happiness is a contagious feeling, you know?) and you feel proud and happy with yourself at the same time, or when you are able to achieve something great in your school or work thing. That’s what I called happiness. Then, what about joy? Joy is a feeling when you still be happy and feel peaceful even when things are seem like disaster. You lost your loved one, you can not pursue your dream, you don’t even have money to buy the food you are craving at the mean time, and so on.

The correlation between the differences of happiness and joy and financial is that your money can only buy happiness and it is only for a short moment, but your money can’t buy joy. Even when you don’t have the money to buy something, when yourself are filled with joy, you don’t really care about the thing you want to buy, because it is not necessary. It is only something you want. The desire of yours does not always need to be fulfilled, instead it is good sometimes to intentionally let your wants unfulfilled, so you will know how less fortunate people than you feel when they cannot buy what they want.

No matter how much money you make and spend, if you cannot let yourself feel the joy that comes from inner you, then those amount of money will only be futile. Although the things you might want to buy right now can bring happiness to you, does it really matter to you to buy it? What if you don’t? Will you die because of it? To live this life, you only need the necessary things, not the desire of things.

If you are a person with a bunch of money that you can spend anytime, maybe you will not be able to relate this, but for those who has minimum amount of money, buying temporary desire will only waste your money and prevent you to go fast to achieve the dream that you really want. Say that you really want to go to UK or Egypt or wherever you want literally… In the mean time, you want to buy a new shoes because there is a big sale at your local shopping center, or maybe you want to buy a new phone just because your friend also just bought if before (you can just change the object and the condition with your actual situations). You know that those new thing that you’re gonna buy will make you feel happy, but my questions are, first… do your old shoes broken already? Or your old phone, maybe? Then two, if buying it will give you happiness, then for how long? And three, is it okay if you don’t buy it? By being okay I mean you are really really really fine even when you only use your old shoes or phone —you are not gonna die or sick or anything. Lastly, will buying it keeping you longer to achieve the most important and the biggest dream that you REALLY WANT?

Now when I look back into my previous paragraph, I think even those of you who are very rich supposed to be able to relate with my questions.

Okay, just take a pause here and really think of the answers. I really hope you can understand what I’m trying to say here.

Now, let’s move on to the second aspect which is happiness and joy. Ideally, your happiness should be found within you, not on external factors. But I do realize that it is kinda hard to suddenly change the source of our happiness, from external factors into something in us —because I am also a human, right?— especially when you are not knowing it fully about joy, so here I am trying to explain it. Since external factors can give you happiness even when it is only temporary, you might want to know what can give you eternal happiness called joy. Joy itself would not be eternal. There will be times when you fall so hard, when you are deep in sorrow or grief, but when you have joy, those sad and frustrating moments hopefully will not lasts very long. Right to this point, you might ask, then how to find this joy thing? Well, it is not an overnight task that you can done, but a long journey that you have to take. Even though it sounds a little scary to know that you will have a life-long task, I promise you that it will be very worth it at the end. Indeed, it won’t be the end. You will know the worth-it feeling even when you are in the middle of the journey.

Joy can be and will only be found within you. Joy comes when you can let go of any expectations and hope. As ridiculous as it sounds, having no expectations at all is the key to joy. Many quotes out there on Pinterest or Instagram or anywhere literally saying ‘lower your expectations’ with something follow it after (sorry that I don’t remember it lol), but for me, lower your expectations still means that you have expectations, and by having any expectation, you will likely get disappointed once you cannot get what you expected in the worse case —because of course you will feel happy even if you don’t get what you expected if it is a better case.

Joy also comes when you can let go of any standards. I think the worst standard at all is the world’s. Beautiful and pretty woman is the one who has long and silk hair with clean face and skinny or slim body. Handsome man is the one who has a nice lean and bulky body, masculine, and successful. Smart people are those who have high scores academically, or able to win some competitions, or those who are in a high positions. The list can go on, but you see what I mean, huh? The world’s standards that people often use when ruling or commenting other people’s life are sucks. And that is why you don’t have to follow world’s standard. You don’t have to chase people’s praise, beauty, wealth, and fame. You only need to chase happiness and joy by being happy and healthy.

Of course having so many acne on the face can be frustrating, that is why you have to take care of it by stop caring what other people say, drink a lot of water, eat only healthy food, and start love yourself more by taking care of yourself inside and outside. Who knows maybe your stress caused by caring too much of what people say is the one that causing your breakout on the face? I was there, so I know how it feels. Or the other case can be… of course having an overweight body is bad because it is not good for your health. It can cause a lot of diseases, not mentioning that it will danger your knee because your knee will hold a very heavy burden. That is why you have to love yourself more by making it more healthy. Go for run, or gym, or any exercises that will help you train the muscles, your cardiovascular, burn the calories, shape your body, release the stress. Will you believe me if I say that your desire to binge eating is caused by the stress you might have without realizing it, because of your over caring of what people say that you are ugly and fat just because you are overweight?

Now the conclusion of several previous paragraph is to stop caring of what other people say. Instead, go chase what makes a better you by being healthier and kinder to yourself. Being kind means to love yourself. Forgive yourself if you fail this time. You can always try again. No one is really chasing you other than yourself. You don’t have to compete with other people because everyone has different timeline of life, and their praise or nasty comments are not really necessary and impacting as much as you think it will.

Alright, I did cross the line, so let’s go back to the topic. Joy comes from having the thing that you really want. Buying the newest bag or the sale shoes or a new phone when your friend just buy one is not the thing that will spark joy. Things that spark joy are things that are really necessary. Of course having a new phone will not spark joy because it is not necessary and you are really okay if you don’t follow the trend. Having so much things just because you want it at the moment or you want to follow the trend will only caused you to have so many unimportant things, and those unimportant things that will only stay in one place because you don’t really use it as much as you thought you will or not really necessary as much as you thought, would only spark negative aura or vibes. Along the time, those unimportant things that you bought impulsively will only become waste. Such an irony, huh?

Now, I will end this. You can really really buy everything you want only if the thing you’re gonna buy will spark joy —happiness in a long term, not temporarily— and if the thing is necessary. You need to ask yourself first before buying anything, do you really need and want that thing? What if you don’t buy it? Will I regret that? Will I feel the sorrow? And what if I buy it? Will it become a waste because I adapt with the new-feeling and it become ordinary again over the time? Will it spark joy for me, or will it give me happiness only? Will it spark negative vibes instead?

For you who have minimum budget and money who read this might think, what if the thing that I REALLY WANT and I know for sure that it will spark joy for me cost a lot of money? My first answer would be, please notice and realize that joy is not always come from big things that you want because joy can comes from the smallest thing you will ever think (it can be as simple as the great time you have with your family or friends even if you spend the time at the side of the road). My second answer would be, just work harder. That is the most realistic answer I can give. By work harder doesn’t mean that you can play harder if your biggest dream have not been achieved yet, and of course you shouldn’t if what you play at the time will not spark joy. Be careful, you need to work harder but love yourself harder too. Give spare time to rest, to break from the routine, pamper yourself, praise yourself, improve yourself, surround yourself with kind and good people, and most importantly forgive yourself if you make a mistake.

Whew, so long. I hope this can be helpful to anyone who might read this. Please like and share to your friend or family who might need to read this long post. Feel free to leave a comment down below. Have a nice day!

Written sincerely,

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