This is the English version of “K A S I H”.
“We should love each other.”
This is what I always try to applied in my life. It is not easy, but I still tried. But sometimes —whether I love them too deep, or it is me that should not be someone who try to love others, I feel that loving others is tiring. Let say that I only care to them, not loving them like how I love my family or someone I knew since long ago. That still be a tiring thing to do, caring too much to people whose not even blood related with you. It is tiring because sometimes, I could just feel sorry without being able to help. It is not that I do not want it, but it is because the impossible condition. That thing is also tiring because there are people who do not understand your heart, your intention, your care, but still saying painful words.
This is my personal experience.
I have a friend that used to be an important part of my life several years ago. Now we still be friend, but his presence in my life is only as my ordinary friend, not as someone who has important role. About two or three years ago, I heard that one of his parents was sick. At that time, I was still on high school. I could not spare any time to visit his parents, nor did I help with anything. I was only an ordinary high schooler who was hard enough to live my life properly in every aspect. I cared, but I could not do anything. Not even asking their condition, because I did not close enough with him. I could only know their condition when I and him met up with the other friends. That also if he told it to us. If he did not, then I did not know anything. I also never had the courage to ask him because I thought, whatever are my questions and his answers, I still could not help. So it was better if I keep silent.
Long story short, few months ago I started to work. When I started to work, I decided to ask about his parents’ condition right to him. That time I was brave enough to ask about it because at least, I would be able to have a visit and give them some support or consolation, even though I am sure that it would not help in anything. After finding out about their condition and where they are, I made a visit for his parents to his house. My visit was well welcomed, and it made my visit doubled and even tripled. If I am not mistaken, I think I made around three or four visits before I went to work outside the city, a place where I work for several months. The first visit, I came alone after work. Next visits, I always asked my friends (and also his) to live up the atmosphere.
My other friends, which also his friend (the point is we are in the same friendship circle), notice about my several visits and me paying a little more attention to his parents, but they said it is kinda weird for me doing it. One of them thought I want to take his parents hearts by doing that to fix our relationship that was loosen up long ago. That kind of thought may seem normal to the world, but it seems very unnormal to me. I am very understood why there are people thinking that way, because I and he were pretty close to each other. But, can we think positively and try not to look for any kind of mistake, for someone’s doing and their good intention? That kind of respond from them makes me feel that what I am doing is wrong, even though deep down in my heart I know that what I am doing right now is a good thing. Support and consolation for people who is sick and not able to do many things just like when they were healthy are actually what they needed. Our support and love can make them survive and keep fighting against their illness.
The other thing that makes me tired to love others is when I feel despondent while hearing that the person I care about —or even loved— is not doing well, but I could not do anything because I am just not able to, even when that person is not blood related to me. We are not blood related, we are not friends, we are not family, or even we are strangers. Loving others is important and a good thing to do, but when they are in trouble and we can not even help a little bit, loving someone or even just care enough to someone is sickening already. And of course, it is very tiring.
Have you ever felt what I am telling you above? Loving someone, or just care enough, but could not do anything even when you know that they need help and support? Or, when you care or love someone, but instead hearing someone saying and asking things about your intention when you do it —which usually a negative one? Do not you think it is tiring to love others?
So, should we just stop loving others, and just love our own self? I think we should not. You do not have to stop loving or caring others even when you can not help. You do not have to stop loving or caring others even when you hear people saying things about you doing it. Just do whatever you want to do to that someone who you love very much without giving a single damn to what people are saying. Just do whatever you can and able to do without forcing any situation and condition which just can not do anything. At the end, this is only about you and who you love, not about people who talks about you. At the end, you still have to surrender everything to the Almighty even though you already forced everything to help until it makes your own self suffering.
This life is not about forcing things that we can not do. This life is not about loving others while listening to what people say. Love should be do-able in every situation, anytime, everywhere, by anyone, and to anyone. Love also should be done without giving second or multiple thoughts. Those two things are only several items I mentioned about love. There are still lots of things to learn about love that make it should be an easy thing to do, not make it harder to do.
Loving others also does not mean to sacrificing yourself just to give love to its fullest to the others. Yes, you have to love others with heart full of conscience, but just do your part, which what you can do without making your own self in a difficult situation. You do not need to do things that you are not able to because they might not remember you, your effort, and your love. Love should not need recognition or reward, but love need to be accompanied with common sense.
This is only my short writes —that turns into a long one— about love. There are lots of them out there discussing about love, deeper than what I just wrote. This write is pure from my mind, because I want people who read this, and also myself, to be able to learn about loving people with full totality that also need rationality. I hope that love can spread to all living beings in all corners of the earth without exception, with all of sincerity and not burdening us as the part of those who wants to learn to love others.
Please love all the living beings, friend!
Full of love,
For you who knows that you are whom I write in this write if you read this. Sorry because I did not ask your permission for writing story about you. I could only hide your name and not giving details to your story. Sorry because I am not able to help much with your family situation. Please know that I care about you and your family whole heartedly without ever hoping any kind of feedback.