“Social media are toxic.” Are you agree or disagree with this sentence?
Through social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or the famous Instagram, we often see other people activity and life. Holiday, working as a freelancer and able to buy many great and of course expensive things, have a lovely family, or a nice date and gorgeous spouse. People are sharing things, just like what we do when we are using social media, but little did we know that a lot of people, or maybe almost all of them including us, are using social media just to show people the best version of their life. The usual or the worse part? Let it just be our own secret, say them who often post great and incredible thing on social media.
When you see a lot of great things happen to people in your surroundings, you often forget that your life and also yourself have a lot of great thing. Sadly, good thing need more effort to be seen than the bad. You start to compare yourself to some influencers, let us say, on Instagram. Or, you start compare your ordinary life who work from 9 to 5 every single day, say you, to a friend of you who works travel from place to place. The often you compare yourself to others, the more you will not be satisfied with what you have.
Not satisfied with ourselves or our life could bring a mental damage. You will always envy people. You will be anxious all the time. You will get depressed. You will be insecure with your own self or life. Many people I know, including myself back then, was a ‘victim’ of social media. I played my role as a victim long long ago since I think that my life nor my self is not as wonderful as theirs. But, as time goes by, I realized that I was not a victim of social media. I was a victim of myself. My own insecurities. My own ungratefulness. My own greedy. My own mindset.
Social media is not toxic. The way we see it is. Our inner critic is. When we do not love ourselves, we will always be ungrateful with what we have. We will get anxious when people are doing great with their body, or their appearance, or their job, and it could be anything. When you do not love yourself, you will make yourself stress because you keep saying negative things toward yourself. Your brain, when being trained rightly, will always say positive things. Unfortunately, we often train our mind wrongly by saying negative things toward something, someone, and something on us, or even in us. Our brain can only read the negative word, not the additional word following your negatives one. So, when you say bad thing towards yourself, you brain will save the negative word, and will always say it again and again toward its first recipient, which in this case, is yourself. When you realize that what I write since above are very similar with you, you have to start to think about everything in a good way, intentionally, because your mindset were trained to only think about everything in a bad way. That is why you have to start it first. Intentionally. Mindfully.
Self-love is very important. Loving ourselves is VERY IMPORTANT. Not loving ourselves could lead us to a lot of bad thing. Insecurities, stress, depression, anxiety, perfectionism, have no mercy, egocentric, and more. When you do not love yourself, you cannot believe in yourself. You cannot trust yourself. When you cannot trust yourself, how can you be good in something?
You may think that you are ugly. When you think that you are ugly, how can you even trust yourself that you can be beautiful? When you cannot trust yourself that you are beautiful enough, how can you start finding a way to make your appearance better and start calling yourself beautiful as well? It is not you who are not beautiful. It is your surroundings standard’s about beauty that set everyone mindset to think that beauty is something measureable by having a nice straight hair, or nice and toned and sexy body, or a white skin. Being beautiful is more than the nice appearance. Beautiful is a combination of a nice (clean, neat and tidy) appearance, a polite and full of spirit attitude, a smart mindset, and the way you talk and behave. Beautiful is way more complex than just a pretty face, so do not fool yourself by following the world standard of beauty.
You may think that you are born to be a loser, because you fail every time you try to do something. When you think that you are a loser, how can you trust yourself that you’re gonna do something great? Something wonderful? When you cannot trust yourself, how can you even try to do something with a maximum energy and effort? When you cannot give your best to do it, how can you even find a way to do it in a smart and simple way but yet giving you a great result? It is not you who are a loser. It is your mindset. It is your victim-played personality. You are great. You were born with many potential. You were born to be winner. You just have to find the right way. It is okay to fail, it is okay to fall down, and it is totally okay to take a rest. But when you are done saddening your failure, you have to try again. Try again with a different method. You have to learn from your mistakes, not giving up because of it. Do not play a role as a victim of your mindset. It is toxic.
You see, from two example above, I explained that self-love play a big role in your life. When you love yourself, you do not even care about what other people doing or thinking. You just try to find your way to be the best version of yourself. You will never be the best of something when you compete with other peoples, because there are seven billion people in this world and human are not something you can measure just by their rank on something, but you can be the best of yourself when you learn to love yourself unconditionally, with every single shortcoming you have.
Starting to love yourself could be as simple as give yourself 15 minutes every day for you to just sit or lie down, let your mind wander, and you are breathing slowly and peacefully. When you are ready to take a next step for loving yourself, you can try a harder one, such as forgive yourself when you make mistake, or when you do not follow one or two of your own rule or direction, or when you do not achieve your goal.
Loving yourself is different from a goal that must be achieved to be a better version. By loving yourself, you will eventually getting better by improving a lot of things inside you. It could be your mindset, your attitude, your perspective, and more and more. But, on your way to be better, you still accept yourself for who you are in the moment. Acknowledge your shortcoming, then accept it. How can you learn to love yourself when you cannot accept yourself? How can you accept yourself for who you are if you do not even know your shortcoming or your born-potential? Simply, how can you love yourself when you do not even know your own self? It is true, right? How can you love someone, other person, when you do not even know that person inside and outside?
Learning to love yourself can be tricky. You can lose yourself in the middle of the journey, and sadly it will be often. You will ask about a lot of things, are you doing the right things, are you heading toward your goal, are you good enough, what are people thinking about you, when you can love yourself fully, do you love yourself enough, and et cetera. But, as complex as it sound, love yourself is the very first and basic thing to do as a social-human-being, because how can we love other people when we cannot even love ourselves? How can you forgive other people when you cannot forgive yourself? How can you give someone a second chance when you do not give it to yourself and learn to trust yourself again?
Loving yourself is a very important thing, but a hard journey to walk on. But, even though it is hard and tiring enough with our ups and downs emotions, learn to love ourselves is such a wonderful journey to remember when you already able to love yourself.
Have a nice day and do not forget to say positive word for yourself.
Written with love,