Being human

Start afresh

If life has a reset button where I could press on it whenever something goes wrong or not according to my plan, I think I will press it several times if not thousands in this life. This thought has occurred to me while I played Stardew Valley recently, and came back today just when I decided to restart again this blog.

In life, I believe we have so many mistakes, choices that we wish it could be undone. But life does not work like that. For every choice we choose, or every mistake we make, we can only face it and take the responsibility. I used to think that in order to reset my life and start afresh, I need to move somewhere where everyone do not know me, and I will be doing something from a scratch again. I even tried myself to did it once, thinking that maybe I could experience a better life, running away from all the problems I have in life. Oh boy how I was so wrong on that.

My actual experience with start afresh

When I played Stardew Valley and I read on the beginner guidance on how to play it, I realized that I made a few mistakes when playing it because the result of my effort did not mirror what it says on the guidance I found online. When that happened, I decided to reset my game and start new, even when at the current game I already have clean yard, a bunch of ready to harvest crops, some thousands of money, and a relationship I have built.

If I think that start afresh in life is leaving all the problems behind and I move somewhere else to reset my life, I will never go anywhere in aspects of skills, wealth, basically anything, because in order to take myself out from the problems that I need to face, I need to start everything again from the bottom, including on making friends, building and accumulate wealth, working in some kind of career or business. Just like what I experienced in my Stardew Valley game. Moreover, it would be more like running away from life, abandoning the responsibilities rather than literally building a new life.

Final thoughts of life and start afresh

Many things in life are actually a result from a long term habits we have done. Some also are a product of our decision in some point in our life, where it produces things we never have thought before. I think everything in life is snowballing to some extend that at one point, we take a look on it and realize that it is bigger than what we see when we first started. Sure, the temptation to start afresh and redo all over again is great because how can we not when we already figured out what went wrong and how to do it better. But, I think, many things are sacrificed in order to just get one thing right. Also, time keeps ticking and cannot reverse.

No matter if the reset button is really exist or not, now that I’m thinking about it again, I don’t think I will choose to press it, because I’m not ready to put down many things in order to redoing everything and have that one particular thing perfect just like how I want it. Instead of pressing the reset button, I will prefer to reset my life in another way, such as rebuilding my mindset and habit every single day, so that I can minimize unwanted things to happen in the future because of my habit and my life decisions.

Yes, it is easier being said than done. I myself still feel like I’m lost in my own mind, hating the fact that I have so many problems that I cannot solve right now, and not knowing how to rearrange my day to day habit and life. But I know one thing for sure, that the fact I have already aware of this, making me a better person than myself yesterday. The fact that I know about this is making me ready to start afresh every single day, evaluating myself and my habit and mindset and life choices with hope that I will eventually reach a point in my life where I finally solve all of my problems because of my efforts and not because I run away from it.

Well, life goes on, right? I will start afresh tomorrow, if I still have the chance to be alive.

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